~ Leo Buscaglia
Educators have amazing opportunities to touch the lives of children. Countless times each day connections are made and relationships are built just because two people come together in ways that often require us to see things through one another's eyes.
I remember a time that could have been a disaster had I not stopped to see things from a child's perspective. It was the beginning of the school year. It's an exciting time for teachers and children. But all the changes can be daunting for our students. Most of them are excited to come back to
school but dealing with a new classroom, new teacher, the new routines and new friends can put
them on shaky ground.
One day, I was called down to a
kindergarten class because a child was not cooperating and being fairly
disagreeable. His emotions were out of control and he was highly frustrated and impulsive. My goal
was to calm him down and figure out just what led to his state of mind. I knew that finding out what may have led to this
situation was so much more important than jumping in and trying to change and control the
behavior.
The boy’s class was on its way outdoors to observe a tree for science class. I asked him if he would stay inside to
calm down a little and talk with me. He parked himself under a table, arms crossed, and seemed
to prepare for a battle.
It was clear that he had no intention of talking with me or changing the way he
felt. There were long moments of silence. He was still too frustrated to be
logical or cooperative, but I waited and slowly he began to talk with me. He shared his
frustrations and I listened. I wanted to understand what was causing him to act out. I made it
apparent that I was very interested in what he had to say.
In a few minutes, he got
the idea that I wasn't there to make his day more miserable, but that I was
genuinely trying to understand him. We spent the next 15 minutes talking. He stayed under the table as I sat on the floor nearby
trying to make eye contact.
In
just a few minutes, I found out what was making him so unhappy and learned
about what he liked. But more importantly, we connected.
The class returned
from observing a tree outside and went out for a few minutes of recess. I watched him
and two other boys play soccer. When the children came inside, they spread out
around the classroom with books for a few moments of independent reading. He chose a book about bugs
and I sat with him. We looked through it together, and I
invited him to come to my office to read with me sometime.
He seemed calmer and I prepared to leave.
In those last few minutes
together, I think he nearly reached for my hand. In our time together, I learned some things
about him and he learned some things about me. We could build on the friendship
we began that day.
Throughout the school year, I had more opportunities to spend time with
this child. He has some challenges, but he was a most fascinating child. In
small ways, I hoped I helped him find his place in our school.
Children will react to change
in many ways. Some days are just not
easy for them. Their lives are as
complicated as our own lives are. Taking
the time to make a connection is powerful. Our conversations with students can make all the difference in the
world. There just might be a student out
there today who is waiting for someone like us to come along.
I am participating in the
March Slice of Life Challenge.
Each day we post our thoughts.
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!
Day 19 - The Boy Under the Table
March Slice of Life Challenge.
Each day we post our thoughts.
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!
Day 19 - The Boy Under the Table
